This piece is brought to you by a very tiring month.
To the generation that’s always tired,
I feel you. I understand you. And I think I am more a part of that generation now more than ever. I am tired. Oh-so tired.
And I don’t mean just physically tired, (which I am too) I am both mentally and emotionally tired, and in all possible aspects of the word.
I am tired of certain people, places and things. I am tired of living a certain way. I am tired of acting in a different way. I am tired of the situations around me. I am tired of the slow churn of day-to-day events that could hardly be considered living.
I am tired of the excuses I keep giving myself. I am tired of the guilt trips I keep experiencing. I am tired of the wasted weekends and to-do list that never seems to get done.
I am tired of being tired. But unable to bring myself out of it.
The never ending rut and cycle, through the same weariness over and over till you have exhausted every possible means of trying to snap yourself out of it.
But that’s just me.
To the generation that’s tired of routine, but unable to break from it due to the obligations you owe to yourself, that are not in your control. Tired of the constant feeling of under accomplishment as you see social media comparative posts, one after the other. Tired of looking at your friends neatly checking off things to do in their life’s list one by one as you still struggle to find your pen to begin with. And when you do find your pen, ready to check the first box you so badly want to fill but… there is no damn ink.
The ink that fuels your motivation, your ambition, and slowly yet beautifully calligraphies your dreams onto a crisp white bond sheet. Perfect to show the world that look, I have a list of my own. I am going somewhere with my life too.
But, I am tired.
And you know what? I am going to let myself be tired. Today.
Only for today.
Because tomorrow, I start writing new list.
And yes, I leave the last one incomplete. And as much as it annoys me, there is nothing I can do. Maybe the list wasn’t worth completing. Maybe the list was outdated, with tasks and activities that no longer filled my heart with joy.
Maybe my list was just so damn boring, that I lost interest in writing it in the first place.
So, I rather leave it incomplete than fill it with things that make me tired again.
And this new list? I don’t know what it’s going to be called yet. And I am in no rush to label it. And I am also in no dire need to fill it with the same things everyone else is filling theirs with. Maybe mine might be the same, maybe the order might be all messed up. But whatever I choose to put in my new list, will definitely not make me tired.
So I am going to take my time with this one.
I am going to write things on my list when it feels natural. And only when I want to. I am not going to force myself to fill the pages with words I don’t like.
Wait, but what about the pen?
Well, that’s obvious isn’t it? I am going to borrow a pen. My pen is called support. From people and friends who care about me and who mean well for me. The reason I say borrow, is because I would like to be their pen too, sometimes. For letting me borrow theirs, I promise to let them borrow mine. Whenever they like.
And the ink? What if you run out again?
Ah, that’s the tricky part. Instead of conventional, expensive ways to fill ink, like shallow long-term goals, where you only allow yourself to be happy once that target is accomplished- I am going to do something completely crazy.
I am going to fill my pen with ink of smaller moments of happiness. I am going to be more mindful of those moments and make sure that I fill my pen with precious ink whenever I get the chance. And those smaller fills will not only help me write my list and fuel the process of writing, but it will be the reason why I write.
The reason why I write.
And when I write, I don’t feel so tired anymore.
What do you do to stop feeling tired?
May you find positive energy once again,